This morning I awoke feeling such a deep sense of sorrow for my many area's of lacking as a mother. There are so many things that I am not doing that I know I should. I have come to realize that I do not find joy in the little things like I used to, or should, and in place there is so much stress and frustration. Yes, I have discovered that my sugar intake is so damaging to me emotionally/spiritually, however so are all of the little, simple things, that I have allowed to become a back burner item. I am sick with sorrow as I look at my sweet children who seem to so quickly be growing older as I struggle with my weaknesses.
As I laid in bed I realized that I didn't want to sleep any longer, I need to write these things down, and begin now to take back my world, to accept the joy around me as I recommit myself. Oh that my children will forgive me and recover from my wasted moments. I always worry that I am taking away from them some future joy and yet I know that I can be forgiven and grow and perhaps they will see this and grow from it as well. They are such sweet spirits, so different and so amazing. I hope we give them what they need to fulfill their full potential, to accept all the blessings awaiting them.
Off to read my scriptures.
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